Sending out my compassion to people evacuated and affected by the LA fires.
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What adds further to this behemoth is that I heal souls.
Because of an implanting incident that occurred a few years ago, my emotions have become almost irreversibly more numb. I cannot feel most positive emotions as intensively as I used to. It's almost too dead silent sometimes in here.
While this spares me from some of the worst consequences and effects of having the energetic configuration I hold, I cannot help myself but say that I still experience a rapid cycle of depression and happiness (not mania). I've even wondered whether I am unipolar. My guides tell me I'm not.
There are entire groups of Lightworkers and starseeds that I feel what they live in general on a subconscious level. I am connected to their grid, on some levels, and it is quite painful emotionally and spiritually. Because of this, I went more than once to the ER or called a crisis center.
I don't transmute for all beings on Earth. That's not possible. But only some groups, notably 5D+ beings and lightworkers.
I cannot change this.
There are at least three souls I became enough familiarized with, that I do this role with; not someone known on Blogspot though. Others come and go through my life, but I can't help but simply unintentionally transmute for them (and my own traumas) :(
However, it does help me to see that they're doing alright. And don't worry about my situation, please.
On average I feel a low almost everyday. Everyday, there is a time period where I drop in frequency and experience hopelessness, homesickness, despair, or intense sadness. I am feeling this right now. Those feelings are very, very intense in the groups I transmute for. I literally hold these starseeds/lightworker groups together away from reaching a negative ultimatum and if I wasn't there, many would die.
And you know what happened once? Some kind of shattering of my soul family grid! It will take a while to fully recover from that.
The problem with me isn't me. I am not suppressing my true self; it's my environment. I already am quite geared up, but I was trapped in an unsuitable environment, such as group homes, for an extremely long time. When I am trapped there I can't express my potential as much as I want. There needs to be a trigger, a step forward that will propulse me into full potentiality.
What's more, entities fight for my attention and I have to carefully tread on a thin line everytime I try telepathy.
In the right environment, I can be very powerful. I am not very limited except by the very environmental prison that surrounds me. It doesn't matter that I manifested this; I need to get out of there now - THIS YEAR IN 2025. It got so bad that I disclosed info about my mission to my case manager, who is also a social worker, and the psychologist at the residence - and they reacted well.
Some people have their utmost priority being having the right body. My top priotity at the moment is moving to the right environment, socially and physically. And yes, that will include extraterrestrials.
Understood, this is interesting to see: have been reading your stuff for a while, it's good to know the social worker is supportive, not always the norm.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, as a fellow starseed, I do hope you are well, that the dysphoria isn't too horrible and that you find a place of better chi cause, yeah, those places you're in can suck: can totally relate especially with group stuff.
Anyways, have a good day.